Student Funnies 2010-2011
Q: What is the word that means that God knows everything?
A: Omniknowing
“Martina, wake up!”
“I am not esleeping. I am reviewing my learning experience.”
Q: God used ______ prophets to write the Bible…
A: old
Q: Which of the three primary consequences of sin do you think is the worst? Why?
A: For worst one for me would be the separation from God because I love God too much for loosing him!
Student A: Miss Foster, has anyone lost points today?
Me: No, but some of you are getting close.
Student B: Some of us are getting toast?!?!
Student: Hi Miss Foster. You are tired?
Me: Yes, I am tired. How could you tell?
Student: You look kindof sad.
(looking at Pablo’s drawing)
MaJo: This is a spider?
Pablo: No! That’s my dad!!
Q: What does Charlie’s family teach us about poverty and love?
A: That love is bigger than being poor or not having lots of food.
Student A: What book of the Bible comes after Proverbs?
Students B: A-crazy-ass-tees?
“Hey Josue, how was your doctor’s visit yesterday?”
“I got tree een-jections in my butt!”
Josue, talking to another student: “Maybe Miss Foster will be your superhero!”
“There is a lot of phlegm in here.”
Josue, speaking to me: “Maybe you will punch him in his face!!”
Journal entry about field trip to Mindo: “I discovered that God do all the things beautiful: rivers, waterfalls, butterflies, and the animals and that is good.”
Students, working on a group project.
Student 1: “Let’s make it colorful.”
Student 2: “Yah! And let’s not use black because black is not a colorful color.”
Josue: “Miss Foster, what day is this due?”
Me: “Josue, I JUST told you that.”
(long, solemn pause)
Josue: “Well, could you please tell me again?”
Excerpt from book report:
“Jack never let her little sister go when they were in the water almost dying. Instead, he gave her his life savior.”
Excerpt from Narrative Essay about a stay in a hotel in the jungle:
“The snake was roaring outside and we called the hotel service…”
Martina chants in a sing-song voice as she looks up information, “Pop-u-la-tion den-si-ty!”
Following a loud, grinding noise heard coming outside the classroom, a student comments, “Someone went to the bathroom with much trouble.”
Note on student’s book report project: The plot sickens!
From a student’s journal entry:
“…I would like to change this semester is my schedule. I would like to change choir to home ec. I would like to change it because I am going through that age that when I sing I make this weird sound like a roaster.”
Student survey “extra comment”:
“You are a very good teacher mostly. You are especially very fun and creative.”
As I help a student edit his essay, Juan suggests an awkward sentence.
Miss Foster: “Ok, it’s not that that’s a BAD sentence…”
Josue: “But it’s not a GOOD sentence.”
Josue suddenly jumps out of his desk during work time. He jumps around and says, “My leg!!”
I ask what happened. “Something punched my butt!” he exclaims.
From journal entries about whether mercy or justice is more important:
“…So I think that mercy is more important [than] justice because mercy can make people change and justice cannot change people.”
“I think justice is better because if someone punches you in the face and they get mercy, that’s very bad to you. You would like them to get in trouble so you would want them to get justice. Punish that person for hitting you so that person won’t do it again. But if mercy, then it is more lickly that the person will do it again.”
“I think that more important is mercy because we have to have mercy with [everyone]. I think justice is for God and for the people that has more maturity. If somebody made something that we don’t like, we have to act patiently with others like God is patient and has mercy with us. We have to be like God. Mercy is better for us than justice.”
Answers to the bonus question, “What is the rule about gum in this class?”
The rule of gum
“We need a donkey.” -Martina
Martina: “The bell ranged!”
Josue: “Not ‘ranged’; ‘ringed’!”
Miss Foster: “Not ‘ringed’; the bell RANG! I can’t believe you guys didn’t know that; it’s in this week’s verb list!”
Josue (shaking his head mournfully): “Everywhere: ignorance, Miss Foster.”
Verb quiz Q: What is the past participle form of “to think”?
A: had thonk
Martina:“Mees Fohstair! You look BAD! You look like a tomato!!”
Juan: “You look tired. You should take a nap during lunch.”
Josue: “NO! You should eat during lunch, then take a nap during Bible.”
Juan: “But what if Mr. Bowen comes while she’s sleeping, and tried to teach the class?”
Josue: “We could pretend we’re in a lockdown.”
Pablo: “Ana Julia! Why are you
Ana Julia: “Go away, Pablo, or something bad will happen to you.”
Journal: If you could have any pet in the world, real or imaginary, which pet would you choose?
A: I will chose a sphinx because it revives from its ashes. I think that is cool because I saw it in Harry Potter. Harry Potter never lies, so its probably true.”
Me: Martina, are you sure that’s the right answer? If not, you should look it up.
M: Don’t worry. I feel it in the deep of my heart.
Me: Ok, I just hope “the deep of your heart” doesn’t let you down.
Q: In your own words, explain the meaning of John 3:16
A: ….Also if you believe that Jesus died in the crust for our sins then you’re going to heaven not hell.
From student writing assignment: “Remind your kid not to talk to stingers.”
Title of Writer’s Workshop Assignment: What I want to be when I am a Ground up
Ana Julia: What’s that?
Pablo: It’s a picture of a hang-glider.
Ana Julia: It looks like a sandwich with legs.
Discussion on April Fool’s Day prank plans
Juan: Can we do a prank on you?
Me: If it’s a good prank, and you don’t hurt anyone or anything.
Josue: Can we scare you?
Me: I’m not sure. It might depend on how scared I am.
Jhony: What if we make you pee your pants?
Me: No, that would not be good.
Josue: Would you be willing to wear especial pants?
Students are playing a review game
Josué: Juan got it wrong!
Juan: I haven’t even answered yet!
MF: Wow Juan, you must be REALLY good to get it wrong without talking!
Juan: I know, right?
Josué: You are better than Chuck Norris!!
Sentence from student essay on people who are overweight:
“I always get mad when people said that I am overweight. But sometimes I understand because I think they say things because they are feeling sad.”
Sentence from student essay on racism:
“I think racism is dum.”
Josue: Miss Foster, did you know that my uncle is coming from
Me: Really? What part of
Martina:
Josue: Yes!
Me: Do any of you know anything about Canada BESIDES
Juan: I think it has a park?
Isa: Miss Foster, have you seen the movie of the Monster of Oprah?
[extra points if you can figure out what movie she meant]
Isa: Have you ever been to Astridi Gaston? It’s a Peruvian restaurant.
Josh: What kind of food do they have?
(whole class busts out laughing)
Q: What do you think happened to Mrs. Johanson on the trip home from the boat?
A: Maybe Nazis shot at her and she is damaged.
Q: Why didn’t the soldier want Mama to open the casket?
A: Because if Mama open the casket she can be contagious with typhus and she can contagious him and everybody.
Pablo: Can I go clean out my locker?
MF: Sure. And if you find $.50 while you’re there, bring it with you so you can get your notebook back.
Pablo: I’m not going to find $.50 in there! I’m going to find spiders! Can I pay in spiders?
Josue: I still remember the time that Miss Foster called me the dork.
Juan: Good times, good times!
Good times, indeed. School's only been out for two days and I already miss them. It was a good year.
