Grammar School First Day

I'm still unemployed. Monday I started a job at a local school, but they informed me at the end of the day that I need not return on Tuesday, because they had a permanent replacement coming in. That was disappointing. But the good news is that I worked in a grammar school office for a day, so naturally I have a couple funny stories to relate.

At the last minute, this school's secretary had to leave, so Friday at 4:30 my temp agency called to ask if I wanted the job, which would begin Monday at 7:30am. I was, of course, thrilled to have employment. So at about 7:25am Monday I pulled into the school's parking lot and met the principal on the way in. We talked in her office for about 15 minutes, during which time she explained to me that she would be holding a staff meeting at 8am to inform the faculty and staff of the former secretary's departure, and to tell them that I would be at the desk. I listened, slightly stunned, as she informed me that I would be the only person in the office until 8:30 and then again from 1-4. And then off she went, leaving me with no training to man the school office on a Monday morning. If you're thinking my training left a bit to be desired, we are in agreement.

So, about 20 minutes into my new position, kids started coming in to get tardy slips. The first girl just gave me her name and trusted me to take care of it later. The second kid came in right after her, though, and I decided it was time to figure out the system. I am recreating the general flow of our interaction, for your entertainment:

[6th or 7th grade kid enters the office]

Kid: I need a tardy slip, please
Confused and bewildered new temp secretary, aka Leslie: Ok, what do the tardy slips look like?
Kid: They're white, uh, it's in a book and there are two pieces, and you keep one and give the other one to me.
Leslie: [ok, a book of duplicates...] Hmm, let's see...d'ya wanna come around the desk and help me look?
[kid obligingly walks around the counter and together we dig through the piles of crap left on the desk. Eventually we come upon the tardy slip book. I inwardly give a sigh of relief]
Leslie: Ok, how much of this information do I actually need to write in?
Kid: Uh, just my name and grade....
Leslie: So what's your name?
Kid: Brian [note: I don't remember his name; but we could pretend that I changed it to protect him if we wanted to...]
Leslie: (pause) and your last name?
Kid: Oh, Smith. I'm in 6th grade
Leslie: Ok, Brian...so how do I know if you're excused or unexcused?
Brian: I'm excused.
Leslie: REally? Well, that's lucky for you, isn't it? How do I know that's right?
Brian: Tardy slips are always excused. I just give it to my teacher, and she records it in her book.
Leslie: (not really following the excused/unexcused logic) Uh-huh... Ok, here you go.


After my first hour of being the secretary, most of the kids were in their respective classes rather than training me on how to be the secretary, so things got a bit quieter for a while. I worked on some busy-work projects, and with a happy spirit, pleased to be getting paid for it. During my day I managed to impress my coworker (the secretary who comes from 8:30-1, but didn't actually show up until after 9am that day, and then I found out that she'd only been working there for 3 weeks) with my vast knowledge and unsurpassed experience on such illustrious office machines as the copier (fifty copies, two sided, stapled, printed on green paper, check!), the folding machine (the BEST folding machine I've ever had the pleasure of using), and the postage meter (seriously, a monkey could run one of those machines). All in all, it wasn't a bad first day. Until they fired me at the end. Well, not exactly fired. But it felt a little like being fired. My temp agency rep seemed a bit perturbed at the abrupt nature of the job-end. She assured me that she asked the guy from the school several times if I wasn't doing what they needed or something, but they said I was fine but they wanted to get the permanent replacement in asap.

Whatever. I guess one day of employment is better than none. We can just hope that I won't have to suffer through too many more first/last days between now and June. At last they make for good blog fodder...