The Testimony

Pre-script: thanks for those who've shown concern for my recent mango poisoning. I'm happy to report that I seem to be well on my way to a full recovery.

This week God has been proving himself to me so much that I just have to pause for a moment of public acknowledgement and praise.

Last Sunday night I bought my plane ticket to Quito. This was my second time to purchase a one-way ticket to a foreign country, and I'm happy to report it being a bit less scary the second time around.

What was NOT less scary, however, was the moment (Monday morning) when I logged onto my online bank account and realized that my savings had dwindled, with the help of the substantial ticket purchase, to nearly nothing. Because I've only been working part time, I had anticipated this happening at some point, but I guess in my head "some point" was a little closer to August than to May. In any case, my mind set to work immediately, analysing any big purchases which would be upcoming between now and my first regular paycheck from my job in Quito.

That industrious organ of mind spun and chugged and steamed its way through lots of figures and estimations and calculations and decided that perhaps I could survive without a grocery run or a gas fill-up for a couple weeks, and manage to hobble back home in June without going bankrupt. I was panicking, and feeling a little let down by my God.

This whole semester I've been praying that if the Lord wanted me to be working more hours, that He would provide another job. When nothing surfaced, I assumed that was His answer- a season of rest. A breather, between a busy season of school and what will in all likelihood be a busy season of teaching. And until the fateful checkbook balance moment, I had rested in that answer.

Suddenly, the numbers were causing me to doubt. Was I just being lazy? Should I have tried harder to find a full-time job? Should I have cut back on my spending and used my savings less quickly? Did I misunderstand?

And God reached down to my brain and stopped the spinning. He said, "Leslie, beloved, after all this time, after years and years of proving myself to you, do you still doubt me? Do you still think I won't meet your needs? Will you let me prove myself faithful to you again?"

And I said, "Oh, yeah....right! I remember! I remember somehow having $800 leftover in my bank account when it was time to leave China- money I can't explain. I remember a friend telling me about a travel agent who got me a ticket home for a few hundred less than I could find online. I remember cards with cash from family members that arrived in time to pay a doctor bill or to pay for school books. I remember the generous gift of a car, sold to me well below its value. I DO remember your faithfulness, God. And I will trust you to be faithful again."

So that day was a battle. Stressing out, remembering, peace....stressing out, remembering, peace. Seventeen years, I've been walking with the Lord. Maybe after 27 or 37 I'll be able to skip the "stressing out" step?

Then they started falling- the blessings. Or rather, the blessings CONTINUED falling, and God opened my eyes to them. My God owns the cattle on a thousand hills, and he sold a few for me this week.

First the Spirit opened my eyes to a blessing that had already fallen; I had nearly missed it. I'd been looking for a sub-leaser for June and July, but until last weekend I'd only been able to find someone for the final two weeks. I would still have to pay 3/4 of the rent for the two months I'd be home. But that weekend another girl had called looking for a place beginning June 1st; the day after I will move out. She wants to room for the whole two months. That's two months rent I won't have to come up with.

Then I remembered that a friend owed me a good chunk of money for a shared expense, that I hadn't calculated in. She's paid me back now, and my balance has risen.

Soon after, I realized that I would be getting $100 from my landlords, as a thank-you for finding a replacement for my room in the house (they really like us, and they didn't want to find new leasers). I had forgotten.

Tuesday I got an email from World Relief (I teach ESL through them) begging for help for their annual benefit auction. On Friday I worked there for over 9 hours, at my normal teaching wage.

While I was at the auction, another World Relief teacher asked if I would substitute teach in her class, the Tuesday before I leave town.

Wednesday, a roommate of mine had breakfast with a friend of hers that I had never met. Somehow my tight financial situation came up, and that friend said, "Hey! I'm going to be gone for three weeks at the end of May and I need to find a temp to fill in. It's standard office work stuff- do you think she'd be interested?" My roommate brought me her name and number. This Friday I'm to come in so she can show me around. Next Monday I'll start working there. 20-25 hours per week, for the middle two weeks of May.

Big blessings and little ones. Reminders of my Father's faithfulness. He has promised to meet all my needs. Sometimes I feel like those needs are pretty darn big. But my God is bigger still. I don't understand how it works. It's like magic, but better. It's the power of God- Jehovah Jirah, the God who Provides.