The Warm Chaos of a Big Family

The title of this post is something I wrote tonight as I was posting random and witty comments on a friend's Facebook Christmas album. Well, at least I thought they were witty. Anyway, I looked at the phrase and thought, "Wow- that's so poetic!" so I thought I'd share it with you, Faithful Blog Reader.

I love big families! I mean, I love MY family, too, even though we were just a normal, two-parents-three-kids family for all of my childhood. But I REALLY love the atmosphere of a big family. For whatever reason, lots of children seems to make a family seem like a big, cozy, overstuffed couch. Relaxing and comfy and inviting.

In case you're wondering, I'm defining "big" as "four or more children". This seems to be the point at which the total number of people involved is high enough that it's harder to keep everyone straight and accounted for. Maybe that's where the feeling of "everyone's welcome" comes in; you're less likely to notice a spare.

When I was in college and grad school, I would sometimes bring friends home for the holidays that couldn't get to their own homes. When discussing the Foster Family Gathering, I always assured the guest, "Don't worry. Everyone's really friendly. And probably half the people won't even notice you're not part of the family."

There's something great about being a more-or-less unnoticed honorary member of a big family. The best thing to do is just sit back and observe. People are funny, especially when they're relaxing with family. Long-debated competitions are un-earthed and dusted off. The inevitable gossip about The Traveler or The Ever-Sick One or The Annoyingly Lucky One begins. Card or board games bring competitive streaks, so well hidden during the rest of life, roaring to life after their long hibernation. Little kids squeal and run and eventually drive adults to ban them to the basement or attic or (hopefully in good weather) the great outdoors. "To blow off some stink" as I used to hear occasionally in my childhood.

Big families. Loud. Messy. But lots of potential for love.