Studying Will Pits OR The Dangers of Language Learning

Here is a story that was gut-bustingly funny at the time. But I have to warn you- I'm not totally sure of its transferablity, so considered yourself forewarned.

I'm teaching a class on paraphrasing and summarizing this session. (I know, it's thrilling already) So we were practicing our mad paraphrasing skills with this sentence, which I had written up on the board:

He studied every night, but he still failed the exam.

(I try to use encouraging sample sentences like that)

We underlined words and phrases that should be replaced with synonyms, including "every night". As we discussed alternative ways of saying that (personally I was rooting for "each evening", though there was a pretty strong following for "daily", followed by some confusion as to why it wasn't an exact change), one student (we'll call him Bob) asked the following question:

Bob: Teacher, can I change it for an idiom?

Me: Sure, if the idiom has the same meaning as the original phrase. What idiom did you want to try?

Student: "Will pits"

[confused silence, as I silently flipped through my English vocabulary in search of an idiom that has a meaning remotely close to "every night" and that sounds somewhat similar to "with pits". No dice.]

Me: Um, 'will pits'?

Bob: No, Teacher. WILL PITS.

Me: Can you spell it?

Bob: W-i-t-h p-i-t-s

[I write "with pits" on the board. Bob nods emphatically. I continue to grasp frantically at anything in the ballpark. It turns out this ballpark is totally empty.]

Me: I'm sorry, Bob, I don't know what that means.

[some discussion ensues in Arabic, as the students discuss what might be the problem with this particularly stellar idiom]

Student 2: I think the spelling, it is wrong. I think it is "pets", not "pits".

[I erase "pits" on the board and replace it with "pets". Bob nods expectantly. Strangely, this doesn't really help me.]

Me: I'm sorry, this still doesn't make any sense. Pets are animals that you keep in your house, like friends.

Bob: No, no, no. Not "pets". PETS. It's like the black one. It is in the night.

Me: BATS? With bats?

[I draw a (not-so-hot) picture of a bat on the board]

Bob: YES!! With bats!

[this is said with great exasperation, as if he'd been saying this exact thing for the past five minutes]

Me: Um, Bob, I don't understand. Why would you study with bats? Are you sure you have it right? I don't think it's an idiom.

Bob: Yes, Teacher. I am sure. I made it myself.

[It should be stated that I generally try not to laugh at my students. I remember all too well how it feels to try to learn a language. But I just can't hold it in. I bust out laughing. So do most of the students, including Bob.]

Me: Well, you can't really make up your own idioms, Bob. Other people might not understand them. I think maybe you should just replace "every night" with "each evening" instead.

Bob (looking a little disappointed, but compliant): Ok, Teacher.