So, how does fostering work, you ask? Here's a simplified version, according to what I know thus far (translation: this isn't advice and in a year or so I'll probably shake my head at the quantity of things I didn't know or understand when I wrote this. Such is life.).
RESEARCH
First, I talked to everyone I could who has fostered. I heard about various experiences, and they all reinforced my understanding that the system is a mess and there is a lot about it that is really, really hard. But most of them said it was worth all the hard.
I keep being impressed by this thought: these kids don't have a choice. I look at the system and I think, "This is too...
...too messy
...inconvenient
...scary
...expensive
...broken
...emotionally draining
...physically draining
...uncomfortable
...unfair
...depressing
...intimidating
...hopeless
And my next thought is always that I can choose not to help, but those kids can't choose not to need help. This thought steadies me.
Next I jumped online and started looking at the agencies in my area. And then I checked out the DCS website. I completed and submitted a bunch of online forms to be contacted for more information. I slowly pieced together (I think) the fact that DCS (the department of child services) is the hub. They get all the cases of kids that need fostering. Then they place those kids with foster families in two ways:
1. directly to foster parents who were licensed through DCS
-and-
2. through LCPAs (licensed child placement agencies) who license their own families. Some kids end up in facilities rather than homes. I haven't yet learned when and why that happens.
Anyway, I've chosen this second route of using a private agency for several reasons. First, the DCS is understaffed and overworked and fostering through them directly means that everything is "government work". Like, reimbursements take months to process, and case managers are worked off their feet. But the biggest difference for me is that my LCPA is an openly Christian organization. Not only will I have the support of their staff, but they are like-minded and I get the added bonus that they serve as go-betweens between me and DCS for many things. So they absorb some of the irritants that come with working with the government.
[note: this isn't a political statement about this government or any other. it just is]
PAUSE TO PRAY FOR DIRECTION
So, after talking to the DCS, I decided on using a private agency. And after speaking with people from about five different agencies, I spent a couple weeks praying about the right agency. My prayer team was awesome in supporting me. Eventually I settled on an agency and contacted them to get the process started.
APPLICATION PROCESS
So far I've completed and returned a survey about my experiences and philosophy about parenting; had an initial interview; taken 12 hours of RAPT classes (resource adoptive parent training); and I'm currently working to gather various things to complete my application packet. But never fear; there are only about twelve million things to do.
Yesterday I got fingerprinted! Did you know they don't use ink? So fancy.
Today I set up an appointment to get my kitties vaccinated against rabies. I thought about pointing out that my cats never come into contact with any other animals, but decided not to die on that hill.
Since I have well water, I have to prove it's safe. Apparently the fact that I've been drinking it for three years doesn't qualify as proof. And I guess that's just as well, since my first test came back "unsatisfactory". (so diplomatic) So I'm in the process of bleach-shocking my well and we'll try again. So excited that I get to pay that testing fee at least twice. (please note sarcasm)
Meanwhile, I've been garage saling and watching Facebook Marketplace and creating a baby registry (because they don't have foster kids registries) to try to get my house ready to handle kiddos. I plan to request girls who are in full-day school and not older than 6th grade, at least to start with. That narrows the "what I need" list down significantly, but it's still a pretty wide range. So I'm focusing on the basics and will have to fill things in as I go.
Another step is to get a "child care plan" in place, so I've started researching child care options near me. Depending on what time the kiddo(s) gets picked up for school, I may need before-school care. I will most likely need after-school care of some sort. I toured a center today. It was a little surreal. I felt like at any moment, someone was going to approach me as say, "Hey, you're not supposed to be here!" :)
PRAY, PRAY, PRAY
And around all of these steps, I've been praying. There is no part of this new ministry-adventure that I expect to be able to do well on my own. I fully expect this to be one of those situations where if God doesn't show up, it's not going to work.
And while that's a little scary to think about, I also think it's exactly where God wants me.
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