WARNING: If you've not seen the new Pirates movie and plan to, do not read this post!
Last week I watched the newest Pirates movie and, as expected, enjoyed it quite thoroughly. Today I was pondering the lamentable fate of Commodore James Norrington. In the first movie, James' life is going well- he's being promoted by the Royal British Navy from a captain to a commodore, and Elizabeth (the unreasonably beautiful female lead) finds herself (unwillingly) engaged to him. Now I do have to admit that Jimmy seems a little on the stuffy side, and he's very letter-of-the-law-esque, which can get annoying. But by all accounts, Norrington seems to be a good man.
By the end of the first movie James finds himself un-engaged in a pretty humiliating display of passion between Elizabeth and Will (also unreasonably hot, though a little bit scrawny by my calculations; if hard-pressed I think I could probably bench-press Orlando Bloom), Elizabeth's childhood sweetheart. Then in the second movie things continue to digress for the good commodore. As a result of Norrington's leniency in letting Captain Jack Sparrow escape, Norrington has been stripped of his naval title and, therefore, his career. Later we find him filthy, drunken, and sleeping in a pigpen. In a bid to win back the favor of the Navy, he double-crosses Captain Jack, Elizabeth, and her new fiance, Will.
In the third movie Elizabeth and James have a brief confrontation wherein she accuses him of choosing the wrong side and he repents by helping her and her companions escape certain doom. This choice earns him a passionate embrace from Elizabeth, and about ten seconds later, poor James is killed.
WHAT?! I mean, really. This poor guy! I'll admit, he made a couple wrong choices, and I preferred the less-stuffy version of the man to the original put-together James, but was it really necessary to kill him off? Granted, he isn't as easy on the eyes as, say, Will. But he was a nice enough guy. Couldn't Disney at least let him live happily ever after with some nice girl on the island? It's just like Disney. The beautiful people always win.
3 comments:
dude. this post made me laugh hilariously. this is EXACTLY the kind of stuff i want to read from you. i mean that (think about it, i'm in mozambique). it's so funny. and a huge breath of fresh air.
you are hilarious. i love that you put so much thought into this. and i do, truly, find it interesting.
yay! you're blogging!! write often!!
i love you. even larve you, more than chocolate farge.
b
okay, i need to add more.
i haven't seen the movie (though i plan to as soon as it gets to one of mozambique's approximately 3 theatres nationally. hopefully it will have portuguese subtitles instead of dubbing so i don't additionally have to wait until i learn portuguese pirate-slang.)
how it ends, though, reminds me of "Last of the Mohicans". it's exactly the same premise! slightly dorky-looking, letter-of-the-law but overall decent military man loses reluctant leading lady to buff free-spirited hero (in this case, with a shaved shiny chest and sporting feathers in his long manly hair), originally tries to break them up and rid the land of his rival, but ultimately saves their lives and is promptly killed (this time by offering to be burned at the stake in place of mr. mohican, no small favor, sheesh). there's even the same father-tension subplot: dad likes straightlaced dork, girl likes passionate adventurer. oh the struggle, the familial conflict!
sounds like this POC trilogy is basically a Disneyized, (mostly) ahistorical, and humorous take on exactly the same story. Minus the sister-suicide (i assume). And plus Johnny Depp (never a bad idea).
okay, that's the end of my film analysis.
you still haven't written more!!
don't you realize i'm lonely?!??
the audience is clamoring for more!
Post a Comment