Cleaning Out the Fridge

Sunday night I sat down to watch a little tv, and realized that more than half of my cable stations were locked out. Weird. Sadly, I had left my cell phone with a friend the afternoon before, so I had no way to contact TV Cable and remedy the situation. Instead I watched a movie.

Monday morning during my first prep period, I spent about 3 minutes on my cell phone (just retrieved from said friend) figuring out (in Spanish) that I had to be sitting in front of my tv in order for the friendly TV Cable lady to determine whether my problemo was fixable over the phone or not.

This afternoon I plopped down on my couch with my twanger (aka, remote control for the less interesting folk out there), my cell phone, and my TV Cable bureaucratic nonsense papers and called again.

This time I spent about 10 minutes helping the friendly TV Cable lady determine that my problem was, in fact, not fixable over the phone. She assured me that someone will be at my house to figure it out tomorrow between 5:30 and 8pm. I am not holding my breath.

But this post is entitled "Cleaning Out the Fridge" and not on accident. Because of this newly freed-up evening time, I have changed the light bulb in my spare room, washed all the dishes, made a big pot of chili, and, perhaps most interestingly, cleaned out my refrigerator.

I live alone and have a rather small fridge. Usually I do a pretty good job of keeping it within what I consider reasonable bounds of cleanliness [editor's note: she means the fridge doesn't smell bad and there are still one or two empty Tupperware containers in the cabinet at any given time]. However, somehow things got a little out of hand this time around, and this evening I found myself cleaning out a few doosies in the realm of rotting food.

I hate cleaning out the fridge as much as the next guy, but tonight as I scraped and sloshed my sad little past-expiration cooking experiments into the trash bag, the humor of the situation struck me. I kept thinking funny things in my head. But it's no fun to think funny things alone. And Marsha (the resident hamster) is very non-responsive about this sort of thing. I was inspired to make a list.

And so, without further ado (as if ado could go much further than seven introductory paragraphs), here's a list of things you don't want to hear (or think) while cleaning out your fridge:

-Hmm, I don't remember making that...

-Wow, I've never seen mold like that before!

-I wonder what THAT was?

-Look at all those pretty colors!!

-Do you think the dog will eat that?

-If I pass out from the fumes, I wonder if there'll be permanent brain damage?

-Whose tupperware is this? I don't remember it...?

-I think it was a different season when I made that.

-Hey, check out this mold! It's like little trees!

-Who knew that broccoli could be a solid OR a liquid?!

I hope the cable guy comes tomorrow.