Boo for Alone

I know, I know. It's been EONS since I wrote. Practically a decade. You have been neglected, my cyber friend, and you deserve an explanation. Here's why I haven't been writing:

-I didn't have anything to say

-I got a new job and moved three states away and lived in a hotel for a week and then doubted my decision and almost had a nervous breakdown but then after much prayer and a lack of other feasible options decided to stay and hope the job works out. Then I had to find an apartment and start the new job and move in with the help of my awesome family and now I'm about to start my third week of the job and I have several hours of free time in a row for the first time since I left Ohio.

The second reason might be more significant than the first. After all, I don't really have all that much to say now, either, but since I had some time, I thought I'd write anyway.

Even before I moved to take this job, I was worried about being lonely. I hate being lonely, which is a shame cause I'm real good at it. I do it well, and I'm fast. I can get lonely in, ummm, maybe 2 hours. Pretty good, right?

But as I said, I don't like to be lonely. I know that, when they are trying (unsuccessfully) to be helpful, sometimes people tell me, "You can be lonely when you're with people, too." And this is true. But it has been my experience that I'm lonely a LOT more when I'm NOT with people than when I AM with people.

It's been nice that since I've been here I've had visitors three times, and I've gone to visit friends once. But tonight, as my sister drove away from my apartment, I realized something.

Visitors are great. I mean, really awesome. But the bad part about visitors is that they leave. No matter how long they can stay, or how much fun you have with them, they have to leave. And then I'm back to my previous state of aloneness.

I don't want my normal state to be alone. I'm tired of alone. I want people. For better or for worse, I want people. To say hi to. To recap my day with. To share funny student stories with. To eat with. To divide chores with. To watch movies with. To make plans with. I want to share life with people. Life is better shared, don't you think?

Boo for alone.