On Cleaning the Floors

The thing about cleaning is, I don't like to do it.  I mean, I'm anti-mold-growing.  But I can happily go months without cleaning my shower.  Know why?  First, I usually don't have my contacts in when I shower, so I can't see the dirt.  Second, I know it's only my own dirt anyway, so it doesn't gross me out.

Same goes for washing the floors.  I really would rather not wash my floors.  My apartment is all hardwood, so though it's just a one bedroom, sweeping and washing all the floors is an event.  Particularly because I once cleaned houses professionally and will probably never again be able to bring myself to mop a floor.  It's like going back to canned pineapple after you've eaten it fresh off the plant, still warm from the sun.  Not really possible.

And so.  There are some aspects of house cleaning that get a little (ahem) overlooked in my world.  But this weekend my aunt and uncle are going to spend the night at my place, and so I have kicked myself into cleaning gear.  Last weekend I cleaned the shower.  That was a really good idea.  And today I finally swept all the floors, and washed the bathroom and kitchen floors.

As I scrubbed, I was inspired to write this blog about why you shouldn't wait six month to clean your floors.  I thought if you read it, it might inspire you to not wait six months to clean YOUR floors.  If, in fact, there is anyone else in the blog-reading world that waits that long.  I'd like to think there is.

Here goes.

Why You Shouldn't Wait Six Months Between Floor Cleanings

- Dust bunnies the size of your head are scary.  Sort of mesmerizing, but scary nonetheless.

-After such a long hiatus, cleaning might make your beta fish look at you in shock.  You might fear that the sudden flurry of cleaning could send him into fishy-cardiac arrest, which would make you feel really sad as you'd be alone in the apartment again.

-You're likely to have visions of your deceased mother closing her eyes and shaking her head in dismay at how terribly she failed to raise you to be a responsible, floor-sweeping woman.  Then you might feel a little bit guilty.  But then you might think about how your mom didn't like to clean, either.  So that's a way you're similar.  And that would make you feel happy.

-Scrubbing six months of dirt off the bathroom linoleum is a lot harder than scrubbing a couple weeks' dirt off the bathroom linoleum.

-Your thoughts might turn to that annoying Proverbs 31 woman.  I bet she never went six months without cleaning her floors.  Course, she had maids, so I'm not sure it counts.  No, definitely an unfair comparison.

-Sweeping the floor should not always be an event meriting a blog post.  As I planned this blog I realized that the last time I swept the floors, I blogged about it.  You can read that post here.  I suppose it really should be a little more common-place.  Shouldn't it?

-You could have been using that tube of chapstick that rolled to the far side of the bed about four months earlier.

-The floors look satisfyingly shiny after their sweeping.

That's about it.  Are you feeling inspired?  Happy Sweeping!