A New Ministry: The Why

Since I last wrote, God has been doing big things in my life and I want to update you on them!

Short version: I'm going to be a foster parent.

Long version:  The Why

Though I've always wanted to adopt some day, I've always dismissed the idea of raising children in any capacity as a single women.  It was something I wanted to do after I got married.  My default position was that kids are best served by two parents, and single parenting should be reserved for un-chosen circumstances (the death of a parent or divorce).

However, over the past five years I've slowly been coming to the conclusion that I might never get married.  It's possible, of course, but at the moment that is nowhere near happening.  And as this realization was dawning on me, so too was the concept that maybe single fostering is actually a good thing, and something I could do.

Single parenting is not ideal, of course, but no fostering situation is ideal, is it?  Ideally a child could be safe and cared-for by their own parents in their own home.  I can't offer a child a home with a father and a mother, but I can offer a home where they will not be abused or neglected.  The bar, friends, is not high.

But let me be clear- I'm not pursuing fostering because it's logical or I feel duty-bound.  God has asked me to do this, and so I am.  I'm believing Him to work in and through me, to make me enough for the kids that He brings me.  As the saying goes, "God doesn't call the equipped.  He equips the called." (see Hebrews 13:20-21)

Plus, my last name is Foster, so I figure it was destiny.

Zero Food Waste Fail -or- Who Wants Potato Soup?

Today I decided to make potato soup.  I’ve been hankerin’ for some loaded baked potato soup for several weeks.  I moved the diced ham from the freezer to the fridge in preparation.  That was about 3 weeks ago.  Today I threw away the diced ham.

Last night I moved the ¼ pound of bacon from the freezer to the fridge so I could put that in the soup in lieu of the neglected ham.  This morning I popped it in the oven to bake... 

[author’s note: if you’ve not yet discovered the joy that is baked bacon, allow me.  It is the ONLY way to cook any batch of bacon bigger than your skillet.  Google it.  So easy]

 ...and in a few minutes I thoughts, “Hmm, that bacon smells a little…off…”

Now granted, said bacon had been in the freezer awhile, but I put it in a ziplock, and then put that ziplock into a FREEZER ziplock, which I presumed would keep it good until roughly the second coming of Christ.

I check the label I’d written on the bag in blue sharpie.  June 2016.  Really?  I was sure this bacon was from this past summer (I’m writing this in December 2017).  But the sharpie doesn’t lie.  Hmm.

I peek in at the bacon. 

It look normal.  Didn’t it?  It was definitely not green.

I google “how do I know if my bacon is rancid” but that results in irritatingly subjective advice.  If it smells “off” or looks brownish, throw it away.  Well Google, what if it’s apparently been 18 months since I last cooked bacon and can’t remember if the smell is normal?  Is that red or brown?  Reddish-brownish?  Brownish-reddish?  All I’m sure of is that it’s not green.

I decided to give it a taste test.  Just a small bite, so I don’t end up with food poisoning (again) but so I’m sure that I’m sure it needs to be tossed.  Cause, you know, bacon is a terrible thing to waste.

I take a bite.  It tastes…off.

ARGH!

Meanwhile, I've been I making up the rest of the (now vegetarian) potato soup.  As I stir in the cheese, I realize that I have somehow accidentally gotten reduced fat cheddar cheese.  Guess what doesn’t melt into soup nicely?

Reduced fat cheese.

*Leslie jumps on soapbox*  PEOPLE!  CHEESE IS SUPPOSED TO HAVE FAT IN IT!!  THAT’S HOW GOD AND THE COWS INTEND IT TO BE!  EAT THE FAT!  DON’T TRICK THE REST OF US INTO GLOPPY POTATO SOUP BECAUSE YOU’RE WORRIED ABOUT EATING FULL-FAT CHEDDAR!  FOR THE LOVE OF ALL THAT IS RICH AND CREAMY AND GOOD!  *Leslie steps down from soapbox*

So now I have gloppy, vegetarian potato soup.  I went ahead and added some broccoli, hoping to camouflaging the mess.  It’s not working.

Anyone want to come over for dinner?  I’m cooking!

May Your Praise Be Louder

I work with volunteers. More to the point, I work with people.

If you work with people, too, you know that about 95% of the feedback you get is the negative stuff. And that's on a good day. It can be disheartening.

Last year I worked with a dad and daughter who wanted to set up a spring break trip. The daughter was a high school senior, and she wanted to go into orphan care after graduation. I was able to connect them with a ministry doing wonderful things with orphans with special needs in Central America. It was a pretty low-key event for me, though the dad (first time abroad for himself and his daughter) asked lots of good questions and was pretty nervous as departure time approached.

Last week I got this email from the dad out of the blue.

**********

Last year on this day, you took time to call, answer my never ending list of questions, and took time to pray for my daughter and I as we prepared to take a trip to ____________.

There isn't a day that goes by that I don't think about that week. Things I learned, things I saw, and how incredibly clueless I was about things outside the states.

Early this past Tuesday morning, I drove my daughter to Chicago for another flight to ____________. This time she is going as an intern for the next six months. She will work and help the kids there at _________________.

Thanks so much,

(signed)

*********

This sort of thing makes my work feel significant. It breaks into the monotony of monitoring account balances and holding for hours with various embassies with a joyful announcement:

"These trips can change lives!! It's not just visa requirements and luggage allotments! God can use these trips to Change. Lives. Eternally!"

It helps drown out the frustration of bureaucracy and politics. It helps to balance out the other 95%.

This email was a great reminder to me to be louder with my praise than with my criticism.

The praise matters.

How to Change a Headlight Bulb in a 2011 Honda CR-V

A comedy in 20 Steps

Step 1:  While driving to work at 4:30am, to pick up your computer so you can work from home since you're sick, notice that your lights seem dim.  When you arrive at the building, note that, indeed, your driver's side dim headlight is burnt out.  Take a moment to appreciate that at least when you got rear-ended this summer and it totaled your beloved (PAID IN FULL!!!) 2005 CR-V, at least it rid you of the problem of burning out headlights about once a month.

Step 2:  Later in the day, but still in your pj's and fuzzy socks, on your way home from a Meijer run for cold meds, swing into Advanced Auto Parts and pick up a bulb.  Appreciate the fact that bulbs for the 2011 CR-V cost $5 more than bulbs for the 2005.  Smile and nod when the helpful AAP guy warns you not to touch the bulb with bare hands, lest you reduce the bulb's life.  [psht.  rookie mistake.  i've known that for years]

Step 3: Before changing the bulb, pull up a Youtube video to make sure it's the same process as bulb-changing in a 2005.  BTW, it's exactly the same, so you can skip this step if you want.

Step 4: Gather supplies and consider that changing the bulb in the dark wasn't the wisest choice.

Step 5: Head out to the car with your gear and realize that you don't know where the latch to pop the hood is.  Sheepishly realize that after owning the car for over five months, you should probably know this.  Feel around uselessly for awhile.  Give up, and dig out your owner's manual.  Find the completely incomprehensible diagram describing the location of the latch.  Feel around uselessly some more.

Step 6: Take a break to go to the bathroom and blow your faucet (ahem), I mean, nose.  Return and eventually find the latch.  Apparently we're hiding it from the general populace, eh Honda?

Step 7: Open hood and peer hopelessly at the teensy, tiny space in which you must maneuver to make this happen.  Silently curse Honda's engineers in your mind.

Step 8: Remove the plug from the back of the bulb.  Note with trepidation that it's really tight.  Be sure to squash the back of your hand when it finally comes loose.

Step 9: Loosen and pull off the rubber boot.  Be excited that this part was easy!

Step 10: Push the little hook out of the way to release the bulb.  Bulb will fall free and drop about 2 feet into the bowels of the engine compartment.

Step 11: Stand and look at the dead bulb, lying so far down.  Just, you know, look for awhile.

Step 12:  Try unsuccessfully to reach the bulb.  Enjoy the delightful reality that you can't both see the bulb and reach for the bulb at the same time, as the act of reaching blocks the light, making it impossible to see.

Step 13: Head into the house for some pliers.  Return to the car and carefully try to reach the bulb with the pliers.

[Editer's note: you know what's coming, don't you?]

Step 14:Drop pliers into the bowels of the engine compartment.

Step 15: Close your eyes and sigh.  Retrieve errant pliers by touch, and feel happy at how easy that was.

Step 16: Eyeball the bulb, give up on the light, and push your arm into the engine compartment as far as you can.  Consider how odd if would look if your arm got stuck and you ended up dying in this position.  Realize that next time you should either have your cell phone within reach (you know, so it can fall into the engine compartment, too) or bring a pocket knife, so you can cut your own arm off in a pinch, like that mountain climbing guy.

Step 17:  Shudder and re-focus.  Very, very carefully, whilst pushing your arm in as far as humanly possible, retrieve the bulb.

Step 18: Perform a private happy dance.

Step 19: Finish changing the bulb with minimal drama.

Step 20: Take a moment to be thankful.  For a car.  For money to buy a bulb.  For access to Youtube videos.  And that your headlight works now.